Motherhood

Let's face it girls, motherhood can be a very lonely existence if we let it be.  We spend hours and hours with just our little ones to talk to, and usually those conversations revolve around whether or not your little one has to go potty.

My kiddos are 17 and 12 and I still ask them occasionally if they need to go potty.  It doesn't go away.

MOPs is a great way for Moms of little ones to get together, breathe, and have a time to talk to one another.  MOPs is a great way for you come together and realize you are not alone, that there are other Moms going through the same thing you are.

If you are struggling, cling to other Mommas and know that you are not alone.  I can tell you from personal experience that on those night when you are sitting next to you child's crib, crying because they are crying and you can't figure out what's wrong, having someone to reach out to is amazing.

I hope that this new year of MOPs will encourage and inspire you all.

May you laugh, love, and create amazing things this year.

Have fun my fellow Mommies!






As a side note; if you have any topic that you would like me to write about, please leave a comment.

Talk to you again soon!

Boundaries

    When my kiddos were babies I had a rule about when they would throw things on the floor.  The rule was if you threw it 3 times, Mommy was not going to pick it up anymore.  My little bundles of joy tested this rule over and over and over again and I never wavered.  I am not sure that as babies they understood what I was trying to teach them, but the rule was more for me than for them.  I just got sick and tired of picking up the stuff they threw!

   Boundaries are hard when our kids are babies, because, well, they don't have any.  I would say for about the first year of their lives, we let them get away with a lot.  Once they become mobile, we as Moms start to institute boundaries for out little ones. 

   You know what I mean....

    I am sure you have uttered the following phrases, and if you haven't, you will soon:

   "Don't put that in your mouth!"

   "The dog is not a chew toy!"

   "The dog's chew toy is not yours!"

   "Don't play in the toilet!!!"

   "Why are you eating dirt?!?!"

   And, the old standby, "NO!!!"

   If we do not establish boundaries with our kiddos when they are little, it becomes a lot harder to do so when they are older, trust me.  My 16 year old and 12 year old test their boundaries ALL THE TIME. 

   Example:  My 16 year old son has a girlfriend that he likes to go out with on the weekends.  This is usually not a big deal because he, for the most part, does his chores without major complaint.  (Usually the complaints come when he is made to do chores after football practice has let out, which generally gets him a "Suck it up buttercup." response and he begrudgingly does his chores.)  So, he goes out with girlfriend, but I began to notice that he was testing his curfew time.  He started to come home later and later than he was supposed to.  I warned him, but he blew it off.  After the 3rd time he broke curfew, I had had enough.  For the first time in a while, he was grounded.    
  

   And, because he had broken curfew, the rule changed.  He now had to be home at curfew, which meant in house, not in the yard, driveway, or pulling into the neighborhood.  Since he served his punishment and the rule change he has not been late.  Lesson learned, I hope.


   I know it sucks to have boundaries.  I have fully come to understand what the phrase, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." means.  My Mom uttered the phrase on a daily basis when I was growing up.  I still don't know how she raised the 5 of us (with the help of my Dad) with out going bat-crap crazy, but she did. 

   Anyway, I hope this helps.  Stand firm, be united, and never let them see flinch.  Later, if you have to, probably during nap time, you can go have yourself a good cry when they test you too much.

Have a great week!!!

Happy Mother's Day!

    Unless you have been living under a rock and have cut yourself off from all technology, you know that Mother's Day is this weekend. 

   Having had a few of these days under my belt, I can tell you I love Mother's Day.  I love the handmade cards, and the other things that go along with the day.  One of my favorite cards was the first one that my son brought home from school.  It was a folded over piece of blue construction paper, with a pink crushed paper flower on the front, and "Happy Mother's Day" written in his tiny 5 year old hand.  Inside the card was a note written in red crayon that said, "I love you more than dinosaurs.". I cried and hugged my little boy when he gave me that card.  My little boy loved dinosaurs more than, well, anything.  He knew all their names and played with his "herd" daily.  That card warmed my heart and I kept it for years.  (I lost it in the move.)

   The flowers, candy, jewelry, and other things that are given on Mother's Day are great, but nothing beats a handmade card from your little ones.

Hug your babies and from me; Have a Happy Mother's Day!!!

Friends and fellowship

       And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching, to the fellowship, to 
       the breaking of bread, and to the prayers.
                                                                                       Acts 2:42


DISCLAIMER: This will not be a funny post.  Because of an event that happened in my personal life, I feel that God laid the following blog post on my heart.  If you were looking for funny this week, I apologize. I will be back to funny next week, I promise.





   Last week, a high school friend of mine took her own life.  It had been several years since I had spoken to her in person, (we talked over Facebook, but not often) and as far as I knew, her life was going well.  But obviously, it was not.  

  I felt a sadness at her passing that I had not felt before.  I felt confusion and anger at what would bring someone that always seemed so full of life to that point.  I wanted to talk to my friend one last time.

   I say the above to say this; as Moms, and as the majority of us are stay at home Moms, we lead a pretty solitary existence.  Our lives are filled with our little ones, housework, and an never ending supply of dirty laundry.  When most of your daily conversations consist of, "Have you gone potty?", we tend to go a little stir crazy.


  Don't let being alone get to you.  You have options.  Sometimes when the house work is done, the kids are napping, and you are waiting on the next load of laundry to finish, your mind can wander to dark places it should never go.  You are not alone.  There other Mommas just like you going through the same sort of things you are.  They are fighting the same fight, and would love to talk to someone else going through it.  

  That is why MOPs is so wonderful.  You can get outside your own head and talk to other Mommas in the trenches.  Let them help and I promise you won't be disappointed.


  Also, protect your friendships.  If you haven't heard from someone, call them, just to see how they are doing.  If your not a phone person, sometimes an encouraging email, text, or Facebook message and make all the difference in the world.  Sometimes, what seem like small gestures can mean so much more to the person you are making them to.

Have a great week ladies!


   

United against the children horde

Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels.  The heart of her husband trust in her, and he will not lack anything good.  
                                                                                                             Proverbs 31: 10-11



  An "army" lives in your house.  It is an army that you and your husband created.  Yes, it can be an army of one, (Have you seen the destruction one little kid can create?  I still have nightmares.) but if you are like me, you have more than one bundle of joy.  This "army" marches to its own beat, and more often than not leaves a mess and a trail of tears in its wake.  Sometimes the tears are your kids, sometimes they belong to you. 

  Our kids are precious aren't they?  We love them more than life itself, and would protect them with our lives if we had to.   But, with as precious as the relationship we have with our little armies is, there is another relationship that we have to protect that is more important than the one we have with our kids.

  The relationship I speak of is the one that you have with your husband.   When my kiddos were still at home with me, I remember being so happy when it would come time for my husband to come home, because that meant I had an adult to talk to!  I would be so happy to see his car pull into the driveway!!!  More often than not, he was tired and just wanted to sit, but I would bombard him with what went on in my day and forget that he had just had a day of his own.  I would be so absorbed with my own drama that I would forget to ask him about his day.

  I have, over time, learned from my mistakes.  The relationship you have with your husband is precious, and the reason you have the little army to love and take care of.  My husband and I are far from perfect, but in the almost 18 years of marriage (June 13 it will be 18.) we have learned a few things about relationships.  I would like to share with you 3 things we have learned.

  1.  Never stop dating.
           This to me is vital.  I don't know about you, but I still like to be wooed.  I still get a silly
           grin on my face when I catch my hubby staring at me.  I like to go out on a date with 
           my husband, and we try to do that at least once a month.  So, if you can go out with 
           your hubby and remember what it was like when it was just you and him, at least, for 
          a few hours.  It is worth it, I promise.

2.  Communicate, Communicate, Communicate!
          No matter how tired you are, you need to talk to one another.  Talking to one another 
          is a vital part of the relationship.  If you stop talking to one another, the relationship 
          suffer greatly.  Even if you feel as those you two are just "ships passing in the night", 
          which my husband and I had to do for a time after our son was born, you need to find 
          time to talk to one another.  My husband and I talked on the phone a lot during the
         "ships" phase of our marriage.

3.  Laugh. At Yourself, at Your Hubby, but laugh!
          Marriage is hard.  You will make mistakes, and you will get mad at one another, but 
          but, you must learn to laugh at those mistakes.  Those pitfalls will make you a stronger
          couple in the long run, and down the road you will be able to look back an laugh.  
          When I was pregnant with our son, I was huge.  As the last month of my pregnancy 
           approached, I was afraid to be around sharp objects, I was so big and so 
           uncomfortable.  I commented to my husband one day that I felt as though I was a 
           "Beached Whale"  and my husband, trying to be comforting, lovingly looked at me 
           and said, "Yes, but you are most beautiful beached whale, I have ever seen!".
           At the time, I did not think it was very funny, or comforting, but now I look back 
           on it and laugh every time.


  So, love your babies yes, but take care of the relationship you have with your hubby as well.  Because one day it will just be the two of you again.  At least until the grand kids come along.

Have a great week ladies!!! 

Mom Guilt

       She opens her mouth with wisdom and loving instruction is on her tongue.  
               She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle.
                    
                                                                                             Proverbs 31:26-27



I wish I could say that I always follow the above bible verse to the letter, but, I don't.  When searching for bible verses about mothers this morning, this verse really stood out to me.  More often than not, I would like to think that I open my mouth with wisdom and loving instruction, but I fail, and then I feel guilty.

Mom Guilt is a very real and ever present thing in my life.  When my son was younger, it drove me to buy him everything his little heart desired, because I felt guilty about working.
When I would have to discipline my children for anything, it would drive me to spend long sleepless night wondering if I had done the right thing, or if I had been to harsh.  

My point in telling you this is to let you know you are not alone.  All Moms feel this way to a degree.  If you work, you wish you were at home.  If you are at home, you wish there was a way to escape.  MOPs is an excellent way to help you with these feelings.  Being around other moms that deal with the same feelings of guilt can be very uplifting.  Please, if you feel like the feelings are overwhelming you, talk to someone.   Don't let them build up until they explode.  

I would like to say that Mom Guilt goes away, but, it doesn't.  I still struggle with it.  But, I do not let it overwhelm me like it used to.  I pray about it, oh boy, do I pray.  

So, keep on, keeping on my fellow Mommy Warriors.  And, if you need someone to talk to, you can always call me, text me, message me, or email me.  I may not have the answers you are looking for, but I am always available to listen.

Have a great week Mommas!!!

Love you girls!!!
 

Memories

But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.  Luke 2:19


Every year.  He tries to "lose" it every single year.  My son tries to "misplace" the Santa ornament he made in kindergarten every Christmas.  I put it near the top of the tree, and it mysteriously travels to the bottom of the tree, where my son hopes the cat will "take care of it" of it for him.  (Yep, he uses the cat as his hit man for the poor ornament.) 

Yes, Santa has seen better days.  The cotton that was used for his beard has kind of formed this weird goatee that hangs down a good six inches from the ornament itself.  The paint that was used to make his face has chipped in spots, and the googly eyes used are no longer googly....  

Yep, Santa does not look good.

But, that ornament is one of my most treasured possessions. It was made with love, presented to me with love, and well, I love the thing!!!  It truly is priceless. 


The same goes for the ornament that my daughter made in kindergarten, it is a picture of her (making a weird face, and yes, you guessed it, she hates it...) surrounded by puzzle pieces painted to look like holly.  

My kiddos don't realize the memories attached to those ornaments. I remember with fondness when they brought them home.  Every year we take them out of the boxes and I am flooded with those memories.

Memories are great, aren't they?  They flood our bodies and take us to places long past.  Good or bad, we all at some point have just sat back and remembered.  

Now that my kiddos are older, I find myself doing that more and more...just sitting back and remembering.  

I remember the first Mother's Day card my son gave me; it was handmade and said inside it, "I love you more than dinosaurs.".

I remember my daughter walking up to me with half of her hair gone because, as she stated with frustration, "It was in my face."

So many memories...

Our kiddos grow up so very fast.  They make so many great, (and sometimes cringe-worthy) memories.  

I just like to file those memories away and pull them out when I need to.  

I miss my babies being babies, but the memories my husband and I make with them now are just as precious.  

Like the "Who would win in a fight...?"  arguments that break out so frequently around my house.

The silliness of some of the conversations that seem to happen at or around bedtime.

My son breaking into one of many different voices to make me smile or laugh. Lately, it is a Russian voice that has me laughing most days.

My family watching a nature show, and giving the animals voices usually leads to hilarious TV watching.

So, I share all this with you to say this; yes, your babies will go up way too fast.  Yes, you will miss them when they are not so small. 

The memories will change as they grow older, but you will treasure them just as much as the memories of their younger years.

Never stop filing those memories away.  

And hug your little ones as much as you can.... 

Have a great week!  Make lots of memories!!!